Grim Foh Sold Out Nine Cities and Still Won't Say Who Foh Is

The rehearsal room is above a bakery in Feijenoord and smells of rye and hot amplifier. Hex is standing on a flight case. Cathedral is eating a pastry with a knife and fork. Sixes has a notebook open on his knee. Lull is either asleep or doing it well.

It is Friday. Four days ago Grim Foh finished a nine-date tour that sold out in every city. I came with one question. I will ask it four times. Watch how that goes.

**Nine cities, every one sold out. Did you see that coming?**

HEX: Yes. I said eleven. I said it in the van. Ask anyone.

SIXES: He said six. I wrote it down. Nine dates, 31,400 tickets, smallest room 1,150 in Lille, biggest 6,200 in Glasgow.

CATHEDRAL: We have never expected anything. Expectation is a coat you wear indoors.

LULL: It was fine.

**You left 23 broken things behind. Is that a number you're proud of?**

SIXES: It is a number I am responsible for. Lisbon, one drum riser. Newcastle, one hand dryer, backstage, not our fault.

HEX: Little bit our fault.

SIXES: Lille, one chandelier. It was on a dimmer. Berlin, one fridge, and a merch table that Hex sat on.

HEX: I sat on it with feeling.

CATHEDRAL: We do not break things. Things reach the end of their patience in our presence.

**Somebody has to pay for those.**

SIXES: Total was €7,260. It comes off the fee. I have a column for it.

LULL: The piano in Glasgow was already broken. We finished it.

**Let's talk about the clothes. Hex, what are you wearing?**

HEX: A hi-vis bib. Worn backwards, one sleeve ripped off, one sleeve doubled. Dock workers wear them on Maashaven. I wear it better.

CATHEDRAL: Mine is a coat cut from the curtain of a church hall in Delfshaven. Mustard velvet. It weighs nine kilos. In Lisbon I lost two litres of water inside it.

SIXES: Trousers, one leg shorter, always the left. Exact difference is 11 centimetres. People measure now.

**They do. A stall in Port Vesper's Dust Quarter was selling your bib for €29 four days after the Glasgow show. Does that bother you?**

HEX: It is the greatest compliment of my life.

SIXES: Ours costs €340. We mind a little.

CATHEDRAL: The copy has the doubled sleeve on the right.

LULL: Good.

**Lull, you've barely spoken.**

LULL: I sew. Mostly the left sleeve.

HEX: He sews everything. In his mother's kitchen. With the radio on.

LULL: Radio is off. Hex is lying.

HEX: Radio is on in spirit.

**Fine. Here is the question I came with. Who is Foh?**

HEX: Foh is a feeling. It arrives in the stomach around nine at night.

CATHEDRAL: Foh was a man who owed us money. He paid in the only currency he had, which was a name.

SIXES: Foh is an abbreviation. I am not at liberty to say what for.

LULL: Foh left.

**Four answers, and they can't all be true.**

HEX: They can all be true. That is Foh.

**I'll ask again. Who is Foh?**

CATHEDRAL: Please pass the pastry.

SIXES: I would like to move to the next question.

HEX: Is there a next question? There should be a next question.

**There is a third try coming, and I have all afternoon. Is Foh a person?**

SIXES: Define person.

HEX: Define afternoon.

LULL: He is in the building.

CATHEDRAL: Lull.

LULL: I said what I said.

**Which building?**

HEX: Next question!

**There isn't one. That was the list.**

CATHEDRAL: Then we are finished, and I have enjoyed it enormously.

I am given my coat. It takes four of them to find it. Sixes holds the door and says the nine dates have taught him that the best answer to a hard question is a good lunch. I ask a fourth time on the stairs, which smells of rye.

Lull is behind me. He has not said more than eleven words all afternoon. He says, very quietly, "Foh liked your questions."

From the room above, Hex shouts that Foh doesn't like anyone.