Who Asked Thea Brightwater-Nkemelu for a Left-Handed Kettle?
A workshop in Yaba is producing a kettle with the handle on the wrong side. Our trend analyst went looking for the customer and has her usual results to report.
The kettle sits on a gas ring in Thea Brightwater-Nkemelu's workshop in Yaba. It is enamel, the green of an old fridge. The handle is on the left. The spout is on the right. She says this is the whole idea.
I was sent to find the market. I should say that my record here is not good. In 2023 I told readers the square umbrella would replace the round one by spring. In 2024 I said silent doorbells were next. I am still waiting for someone to ring one.
So I did the work. On Allen Avenue I asked eleven people if they wanted a left-handed kettle. Nine said what is that. One said she was left-handed and had poured with her right hand for forty years and saw no reason to stop. One said he did not own a kettle, he owned a pot.
Thea was not discouraged when I told her. She poured me a cup with her left hand and did not spill. Then she handed the kettle to me and I poured with my right, and the water went down my sleeve. She nodded as if this proved something. I still do not know what.
The kettle costs ₦38,000. She has sold three. One went to a cousin in Surulere, one to a woman who thought it was a vase, and one to me, because I felt I owed her.
My forecast is that the left-handed kettle will take 4 percent of the market by 2028. Please treat this as you treat all my forecasts. I use the kettle every morning. With my right hand. The sleeve is drying.
